Makes My Heart Sink

Before I start, a little history:
Typically, Trip gets out of bed once each night, not long after we put him down. We usually send him back to bed and tell him that he'll get in trouble if he gets up again. Usually he stays in bed and it's no big deal. Sometimes if he's sick coughing or something, he'll get up several times...no big deal...we comfort him and help him back to bed. There has been a time or two where he's gotten up multiple times for no apparent reason, and he usually gets a light spank on the bottom and that does the trick.

To the story:
Last night, as I'm getting ready to head to bed myself, I reach the top of the stairs and can see that his door is opened, but I can't see him. I was slightly aggravated that he had opened his door and gone back to bed, and headed toward it to close it (so I didn't wake him while I was getting ready for bed). As I rounded the corner, there he was sitting indian-style in the opening of his door. I don't know if I had wrath in my face or what, but as soon as we made eye contact, he bowed his head in shame.

My heart instantly sank in my chest and I went to pick him up. As I reached for him, he started crying, assuming that I was going to get upset with him and that he was in trouble. I hugged him, and assured him that all was right with the world. I asked him how long he'd been sitting there and he said, "3 minutes." Since he can't tell time, I was looking for more of a "just a few minutes" or "a really long time" response...so who knows how long he'd been sitting there.

After I'd determined that there was nothing wrong with him, Amy & I put him back in the bed. He was, by this time, smiling ear to ear and said, "Dad, I sure do love you."

What's remarkable to me is how quickly my attitude turned from frustration (that he'd gotten out of bed and opened his door) to empathy and love (once I saw his contriteness). And, I was also struck how much he appreciated my grace. I think you'd have to be there or you'd have to experience a similar situation with your children to understand the emotion within me during this episode, but I can't help but think about how God feels when we are sitting there helpless in our situation because we've disobeyed His instruction, and how He loves to forgive us when we're contrite. I hope, when I'm in a similar situation, that I can stop my (proverbial) weeping and look up at Him and say, "God, I sure do love you" when he gently and graciously lays me back down in the safety of the shelter that He's provided for me.